Eulogy Philip Francis Doyle

Written and Delivered by his brother,

Deacon Peter Doyle.

Feast of St.Peter and Paul. 29 June 2007

 

Thank you Father Mark for making the arrangements for the Celebration of Life for Philip. Thank you for celebrating the Eucharist.

 

I also want to thank Father Kevin for con-celebrating the Mass with my brother Father Jim.

 

Father Mark, your homily was a homily of hope and I thank you for your generous and kind words about Philip.

  

When you begin to speak of the life of Philip it really is difficult to know where to begin.

 

But I am going to start with an aspect of that Philip only had a passing interest in—that was sports.

 

Whenever the Doyle brothers would gather we would all have a good laugh at an article and family photograph that appeared in Dublin’s Evening Herald in early 1962. The headlines read:

 

“The Doyle’s---a family of sporting giants”.

 

 The article gave a brief summary of each of my brothers’ achievements and when it came to Philip it read:

 

“Philip, the only member of the family to play rugby was on the De la Salle cup team playing at centre three quarter. He was middle distance champion of the College and is now showing great promise with a local track team called Crusaders”.

 

But I have to take you back 15 years and in front of all I have to confess to a dark secret I have tried to hide for 60 years.

 

We lived in a simpler time then and to keep busy one of our childhood activities was to publish little newspapers. Most of our efforts didn’t come close to Father Jim’s newspaper and his was the New York Times of the day—it was even ten times thicker than all his brothers’ newspapers combined.

 

His newspaper was packed with news, lots of ads, many puzzles, and for you Francis; this is where the joke factory began. His newspaper was full of jokes.

 

In the July 7^th edition in 1947 the front page headlines read:

 

Philip wins high jump.

Philip beat Peter on fewer faults in the high jump at the Kinvara sport championships yesterday”

 

Underneath the story was a sketch of a tall guy shaking hands with a small guy.

 

This is my deep dark secret. Imagine a six year old beating an eight year old at high jump. It just shouldn’t have happened but the press was there to cover the event.

.

Now you know my life long embarrassment.

 

But that was one of Philip’s many characteristics. Determined at a young age to challenge all, including those older than he and throughout life, he quietly took on life’s challenges and he was dogged to give his best shot to anything he thought worthwhile undertaking.

 

Fast forward to around 1960 or thereabouts.

 

Philip had left high school and after obtaining a e technical degree entered the world of telecommunications and was employed by a large Swedish telecommunications company in Ireland.

 

He loved this new career and this would be his business life for the rest of his years.

 

Move forward again to around 1965.

 

Most of us here remember the time and place we first met our better half. Think back on the time you first met your spouse.

 

It was probably an enchanted evening. The sky was clear with lots of stars. The eyes met. The heart fluttered. This was the moment that would last forever.

 

But for Philip and Madeline it was a little---no, it was a lot different.

 

Madeline and Philip first met over Philip’s big toe.

 

At work a heavy box fell on Philip’s toe and he was taken to Baggot Street hospital in Dublin for medical treatment.. On duty that night was Madeline, a young nurse from Limerick, and although the city folk and country folk in Ireland are somewhat cautious with each other when they meet, Madeline gave Philip what she is excellent at --- superb nursing attention and medical care.

 

Some years later a little bird told me that this was probably the one and only time that Philip ever flirted and the little bird heard Madeline mutter to her friends how this brazen young Dublin Jackeen had even tried to date her. Imagine that in Catholic Ireland and in a Catholic Hospital!

 

The little bird wouldn’t give me any more information no matter how hard I tried to find out more details so I guess you had better ask Madeline yourself.

 

But from the McCarthy and Doyle families ----we have always been grateful and thankful to that big heavy box ever since.

 

Fast forward again several years to 1967 and Philip was the second Doyle to arrive in North America. Joan and I made many trips to Montréal to visit with him and spent some wonderful time at Expo but soon our trips to Montréal became less frequent and his trips to Hartford were more frequent as Madeline had gone to work there as a nurse.

 

Then in 1968 in St.Mary’s Church in Port Credit, with Monsignor Kerr as the witness, Philip and Madeleine were married He was the third brother to wed, the first in North America but more importantly this was the beginning of an almost 40 year marriage that would be showered with many heavenly gifts and graces.

 

This blessed union produced four wonderful sons in Neil, Thomas, Philip and Ciaran. Later Jen was welcomed into their family along with her parents, Betty and Rafael, David, Impara and husband Dave. On that beautiful day in the church in Bogota, it seems like only yesterday, Philip and Madeline were so proud of the young couple. Soon Neil and Jen gave them Stephanie and Ryan, the grandchildren who have lightened up their lives.

 

Philip and Madeline’s beautiful marriage just didn’t happen –they worked at it continuously. In the seventies they were actively involved in Marriage Encounter, visited many homes to encourage others and importantly did their nightly journals to each other which is an important part of making Marriage Encounter work. They lived out fully the richness of this wonderful sacrament. They encouraged Joan and I to do a Marriage Encounter and later when we became tardy in our daily journals he would give me a good natured tongue-lashing.

 

Philip and Madeline were also active in the Pro-Life movement believing without doubt in the sanctity of life from conception to natural death.

 

When it came to attending family functions I can safely say that Philip attended the most, almost always with Madeline. He attended Baptism, Confirmation, Weddings, Graduations and the list goes on across many miles.

 

On his many visits to Canada Philip would always visit everybody without exception and even when Frank was quite ill one year he drove alone for ten to twelve hours to be with his brother. In visiting Frank and Margaret and their three sons, Margaret was telling me recently that she loved his visits as he would stay up almost all night with Frank and Margaret and with Margaret’s wonderful sisters conversing in a way that only the Irish seem to know how to.

 

Two years ago I saw a side of Philip which I think epitomizes who Philip was. We were at the wedding of Donal and Ann’s grandson, Daymond and son of Anne Marie, in a small town outside St.Louis. Daymond and Amanda were the beautiful couple.

 

 

I had been searching for some time for a new CD of the songs of Stephen Foster, an American songwriter who lived in the mid 1800s and whose music we first heard from our father sixty years ago. I found it in a small store and I showed it to Philip. To my surprise, or maybe I shouldn’t have been, and he told me that he too was looking for the same CD and had found it six months previously and had played it almost daily since. Philip has always a great love of good music.

 

The CD was title “Beautiful Dreamer “and certainly Philip was a Beautiful Dreamer.

 

Philip loved his adopted country and set out to follow the great American dream.

 

 He believed the dream of hard work and handwork having its reward.

 

He believed that one could succeed if one tried;

-he believed in the Golden Rule to help others and to trust in God

-he believed in right and wrong

-he believed in the great values of America,

-he believed that the bully should never win and that right would triumph over evil.

 

These are not revolutionary dreams but dreams of those who want to leave the world a better place after they have gone than the world they lived in at the beginning. And for us our world is a better place because of Philip.

 

Philip dreamed a lot about his family. He dreamed of not only providing for their nourishment and well being but he dreamed, along with Madeline, of a broad-based education for his four boys. Over the years we heard of the progress and many graduations from the following schools and colleges they attended, funded by Philip’s hard work. We heard of St.Rose of Lima Elementary School, The Oratory, Millburn High, Rutgers College, Fairfield University, West Virginia University, Boston University and Paul Smith College.

 

Philip had a dream for his golden years and he wanted to share it with Madeline and family. Several years ago when we attended in Florida the lovely wedding of John and Mary’s daughter Bridget Anne to Dave Philip asked Joan and I to travel to Tampa Bay to see a piece of land he had bought many years ago, sight unseen which he thought might be a place for retirement. But it was not to be.

 

It was the hills of New Jersey that called and took him to Ridge Road where he and Madeline began to put into place his dream of a home to rest and relax. He would invite many to visit and no one was ever rushed to leave.

 

Philip’s courage for the past year was simply remarkable. We saw in action the Motto of the Doyle family “Fortitudine Vincit-by courage we conquer” He certainly was one of the Fighting Irish.

 

Despite his painful medical treatment and medication he courageously traveled came to Toronto for the wedding of Michael and Anita’s third son, Declan to Kari. He enjoyed the evening among his beloved extended family and mingled with all.

 

Next morning he was up bright and early to travel over to our Church for the First Communion of Brendan, David and Michelle’s son and of course our grandson. This was typical Philip, he loved family celebrations.

 

 

We who are believers can visualize only in a human sense Philip’s ascension into heaven on Monday morning. He was a faith filled man who practiced his faith duties at all times. On my many visits to New York City he would take me to midday mass at St.Patrick’s Cathedral or to the little Franciscan chapel several blocks away.

 

He was always an Extraordinary Minister of Common at this Church, Our Lady of the Mountain and he practiced his faith at all times.

 

We can visualize  one of the first to greet Philip in Heaven were our parents and right beside them was Thomas and Anne McCarthy who I am sure thanked Philip for looking after their daughter Madeline  for forty years. They will also thank Philip for being a wonderful brother-in –law to Joan and Mary.

 

Publicly I would like to thank Joan on behalf of our family for giving Philip such wonderful medical attention in Mount Sinai a year ago when he underwent a most serious operation.

 

As for Madeline-you have always been the greatest wife to Philip, a wonderful caring Mom, a beautiful sister-in-law to the five other brothers and their wives and to Father Jim and, a most admired aunt to your many nieces and nephews and above all a compassionate and caring human being.

 

Your sons told me that you had said that if you hadn’t had met Philip you would have become a nun. The Doyles, and certainly the Church, are certainly happy you did meet Philip.

 

Madeline you and Philip shared a beautiful love affair for 40 years-it is truly a love that will never die.

 

We are the richer for having witnessed this wonderful marriage for all those years. Your sons have seen it first hand.

 

Your example has filtered down into another generation and it is a testimony to you and Philip that lots of nieces and nephews, many with their spouses, have traveled long distances to celebrate the life of Philip in this lovely church in the hills of New Jersey. And several could not make it for various good reasons but they are here in spirit and all send their condolences.

Our young people in this extended family are the finest in the world and they have the life of Philip and you to model their lives on. I asked several in the past few days how they would describe Philip and Madeline and these were their responses:

 

David said: “You two were always one in a room”

Jen said: “Madeline was the apple of Philip’s eye-you both were the ying and the yang to each other”

And Sunniva said: Philip always doted on Madeline”

 

The Doyles welcomed you with open arms into our family and I have a commitment from all that we will always be there for you. You have our wholehearted support and along with the support from your sons, Jen and Tanya, our prayer is that you will always treasure , not the sad, but the wonderful times you spent with Philip, your beautiful husband, and our beloved brother, for many years into the future.

 

Philip Francis—may your soul rest in peace.

 

Amen.